a weekend retreat for everyone

Over the weekend Deric and I hung out at our alma mater with our student ministry kids for a middle/high school Spring Retreat, and Jake had the time of his life apparently at our friend's house.

 I can't stop laughing at his face! My friend texted me this picture 

and said Jake was cracking himself up over the puppy towel.

Jake played hard all weekend, running around with our friends' two kids and their puppy. I'm sure he was never without entertainment between those three. Their little girl is especially caring and probably every single one of Jake's needs were anticipated and met instantly (which explains the surly attitude he had with me when we got home yesterday...but its good to know he was so loved all weekend!) Jake got to go to Chuck E. Cheese, play at the park, enjoy a whole houseful of new toys, and oh, sleep in like an hour more than normal. Figures.

Our weekend rundown: cafeteria food, stomach conundrums, wised up and ate only salads, stayed up late, got up early, laughed so hard with our students and played a million rounds of pool and a game called Signs. (And in between all that, we listened to some great talks about unity that hit home with both the kids and with us, because unity among God's people unfortunately doesn't magically get easier when you get older. It made me so thankful for the church family we have because everyone is very supportive and encouraging with one another; even our students are exceptionally kind and loving towards each other.)

Now we're back into the weekly routine and I'm pretty happy about it. In the time leading up to the retreat I had been reliving college memories and over-glamorizing it in my head: all that time to myself! no cooking or cleaning up! friends close by! fun and spontaneous weekend plans! While those things were great for a time, I'm so much happier in this stage of life. I've got Deric (and Jake) to hang out with anytime, I'm never lonely and wondering if someone's hanging out without me, cooking (and okay, cleaning up) means I control my own menu and eat what I like, and I'm perfectly content with lazy weekends and a third wheel on dates. (And no homework ever, of course.) Life as it is right now is pretty dang good.

Bathtime from Ashley Skinner on Vimeo.

Galentine's Day

We celebrated Galentine's Day last Wednesday with our middle and high school girls' Life Group. Heart-shaped pizzas, fondue, eighty-some sugar cookies and loads of frosting made for a messy but fun night (and a packed two-hour time frame!). Some seriously impressive cookie decorating skills made their appearance while others used sheer frosting volume to make up for a steady hand. (I won't tell you which category I fall into, but my cookies definitely wouldn't make the photo cut.) In honor of Galentine's Day, we talked about the qualities of a true friend and asked the girls to both evaluate themselves to see if they possessed those qualities (trustworthiness, positivity, respect, etc.), and then to think about their current friendships to decide if their friends are true friends. The eighty cookies were decorated and (hopefully not eaten on the way home) given to their friends at school to encourage and express their appreciation to their friends. They're no 5,000-word essays or cross-stitched pillows, but I think those cookies were pretty loved by our girls' friends. I'm already looking forward to next year!

a week in Guatemala

July and August have been a blur. Deric and I went to Guatemala in the middle of July on a missions trip, and here it is the end of August and I'm just now writing about it. Well actually, I wrote this post a week after our trip but then we went to Port Hope for almost three weeks, so here it is. Rereading this post a month later was good for me; time and family vacation pushed my Guatemalan experience from my mind rather quickly, and I do not want to forget this trip. Too many good things happened and my perspective on a lot of things was changed, and only by keeping the trip fresh in my mind will I be able to make life-long changes happen rather than settling back into my old routines.

.................................................................................................................................................................

I spent last week in Guatemala, in a tiny village on the outskirts of Guatemala City. It was exactly what you would expect when you hear "third world": dirt and dust, shacks instead of houses, sewage running through the street, chickens and dogs wandering around, little kids in dirty mismatched clothing. A group of twenty people from our church spent the week giving out food and dresses to families, digging a drainage system at the school to get it up and running for the next school year, and hosting a VBS every afternoon. (Our group had mixed feelings about it all after reading a book entitled When Helping Hurts, but decided to trust the missionaries and their knowledge of the community, and to keep our focus on building relationships, not just getting things done.)

 worship at VBS

Coming home, I experienced all the typical emotions I knew would come after facing poverty: guilt over how much stuff I have, guilt that I still want more and better stuff, relief that I don't have to live like in poverty, determination to be more content and more resourceful, determination to never waste a single drop of water ever again. (I didn't expect to cry as I walked into Kroger on Monday morning, though. Kroger is bigger than their entire village.)

a path leading to the lower streets of the village

I didn't expect to wake up each morning feeling sad that we were no longer in Guatemala. Last week, I woke up with such a defined purpose. I knew what we would accomplish each day and how many people we would meet and get to know. I knew I'd get sweaty and filthy (which I hate) but with that sweat and filth and exhaustion came a sense of satisfaction, knowing that I had spent myself on behalf of others, and that made it worth it. At home, I don't go to bed at night with that sense of accomplishment. My purpose here as a mother is different, less manual labor and more...mental? emotional?. I take my role as a mother (and wife, but let's focus on the mothering since that's the 8-5 job) very seriously and I love being a mom, but for a few months now I've felt a desire to be involved in a ministry outside of our home and outside of our student ministry at church. So off and on for a few months, I've asked God to give me some direction to a specific ministry or opportunity. When I didn't sense any direction, I thought maybe God was saying to focus on our family for right now, seeing as Jake was so little. But this desire for a ministry outlet has only increased after our trip last week, and so I've been asking God a little more fervently to provide some direction. With every endeavor of mine so far in life, I've jumped in too excitedly and had it fizzle out soon after, and I don't want to do that in ministry, where that fizzling out could hurt someone. A few days ago, I wrote down some ministry ideas that could potentially benefit "our" village in Guatemala while we're in Tennessee, and asked God again to provide an opportunity. Then just a few hours ago, I read this blog post, titled "thinking something is not the same as doing something". Her post was obviously addressing a situation almost identical to mine, but it was the first comment on the post that got me: someone said they think God wants them to jump into something, anything, just to get moving, and he would take care of the rest.

after VBS each afternoon, we played the older boys in some cutthroat soccer games

So now I can't help but think, is that it? Just do something (and pray along the way, of course) because waiting idly by is wasting time. After seeing first-hand the injustice of contaminated water (made worse by a nearby clothing factory for, you guessed it, American brand-name clothes), and limited resources, and unsafe living conditions, and insufficient education...I have to do something. I would be doing God, the missionaries, the Guatemalans, and the funds raised for our trip a disservice if I didn't allow God to change me through last week's experiences. I am more aware of the habits our family has right now, and I am trying not to get lulled back into first-world apathy by these habits, where I am far too concerned about the decor of our house, or whether we'll eat out for dinner tonight. As brought to my attention by CS Lewis in The Screwtape Letters, Satan doesn't need to divert us away from God, he only needs to distract us and thereby render us useless.

overlooking the city of Antigua, where the market is located, on our first day

I continue to pray that the Lord would not let me forget Guatemala. I remind myself that God is in Guatemala, and He is in Tennessee, and it is a privilege that He would allow me to be used in His kingdom's work.

the view from the mountains near Clubhouse Guatemala's camp

On a different note, this trip was the best mission trip I've experienced. Our group had so much fun together and I was amazed at the work ethic and good attitudes shown by everyone. The highlight of every day, for me, was our time spent together at the mission house each evening. We ate dinner together, shared our high points and low points of each day, walked through the neighborhood to a tienda to buy glass bottle Cokes. It was interesting to hear everyone's perspectives on the day and to hear about unique experiences or conversations they had.

get outta town

We had our (almost) annual staff retreat last week at Whitestone Inn in nearby Kingston. Whitestone is basically the best place to be in the fall (except that we were too early for changing leaves) and is about what I picture in my head when I read books like Anne of Green Gables. I am absolutely kicking myself for not bringing my good camera with us because my phone cannot capture how gorgeous the land is. As much as I hate trekking up hills, they sure make for some beautiful scenery.

The retreat lasted one full day + one night and we brought Jake, so I was a bit nervous that he'd interrupt every planning session and I'd never actually be in on anything, but he was great. That night, we put him in the big jacuzzi tub for a bath and he just went to town. Kicking and splashing like it was the greatest time of his life, and I was happy to see that water on his face doesn't upset him in the least. Swim lessons here we come! ;)

        ^Jake helped us pray over church members ;)

As for the real reason we were there, the retreat went really well. We brainstormed direction for 2014 and settled on a theme to coordinate sermon series. I'm very thankful for the leadership we've got at church and excited to see some growth over these next years, both in numbers and in relationships with Jesus and with one another.

Out on the Lake

Yesterday we went boating with the youth group. The trip was originally scheduled for August but rain cancelled our plans and bumped it a few weekends later. We weren't sure how the weather would do for this weekend either but ir turned out to be perfect for a day spent on the lake. It was cool all morning (and so was the water) but the afternoon warmed up just enough to give us all some sunburnt cheeks without making us sweat to death like a typical summer day. The chilly weather combined with grilling for lunch, football and corn hole made me so ready for our annual camping trip coming up in October!

Camp is Good

I'm noticing a trend over this past year or so of youth ministry: Without fail, I learn so much from these events we attend that are geared for middle schoolers or high schoolers. I go into these events expecting to be on the sidelines, supporting our kids and cheering them on, encouraging them to really listen to what God could be teaching them. And then I find myself blown away by something unexpected that God wants to teach me. Camp was no different. Its hard to simultaneously learn hard lessons and teach those same lessons to kids, but I did my best this week to convey to our kids what I believe God was teaching me, and I can only hope that God made me an effective communicator.

The day before we left for camp, Chad asked me if I would speak at campfire. For those of you who didn't grow up attending church camp, every night there are two time-to-get-serious talks: chapel, which is basically a sermon, and a few hours later, campfire. Campfire is much shorter and tends to be more personal, more like a devotion. But two minutes or two hours of public speaking, my first instinct when Chad asked me to speak was a "Thanks, but no thanks. Have you asked ___?" Before I could answer him though, God reminded me that I've been challenging myself to step out of my box and do harder things in order to honor Him. So yes, Chad, I'd absolutely love to speak to a bunch of middle schoolers with little to no preparation. That'd be great, thanks for the opportunity. 


Sunday afternoon, we arrived at camp and I looked over the theme: Authentic. I chose to speak on Tuesday only because Tuesday's topic [Getting Real with God] bore some resemblance to my own life, and I figured that would make it easier to speak about. All day Tuesday I was anxious, worried, and feeling like I wanted to die (equal parts fear of public speaking and an insane, horribly-timed sinus infection). I almost lost my voice on Tuesday. I don't remember talking to any of the campers, just writing and rewriting what was in my head so that on paper, all those thoughts bouncing around would hopefully make some sense.

Here's what I honestly believe God told me to say (say um a few times, stutter, and talk really fast, and it'll be like you were there!).
_________________________________________________________________________________

In Luke 9, there's a story about 3 men who approach Jesus and want to follow Him, but Jesus doesn't respond to them in a way I would have imagined.
As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."
Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." 
He said to another man, "Follow me."
But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."
Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."
Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family."
Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."


In Mark, a rich young man asks Jesus what he has to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him, "Go, everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

In Luke 14, Jesus is walking with a large crowd and he says to them, "If anyone comes to me and doesn't hate his father or mother, his wife and children, his brother and sister--yes, even his own life-- he cannot be my disciple."

So to recap: leave your family behind, sell everything you own, hate your parents, and potentially end up homeless. This is what Jesus is telling these people. It may sound harsh, but Jesus is just being honest about what could happen if you choose to follow Him-- you will be asked to abandon what's comfortable, what's normal, what's familiar.

So what if Jesus asked you to leave your family behind and move overseas?
What if Jesus asked you to give up a successful career?
What if Jesus told you there's a good chance you could end up homeless?

I tend to separate myself from this story because honestly, it scares me. But here's the thing: if I'm going to call myself a Christian, a follower of Jesus, then I'm in the same situation as those men who talked with Jesus. Jesus didn't ask only those few men to abandon everything-- He asks every Christian to abandon everything. We do have to give up everything to follow Jesus. We do have to love Him so much that our closest relationships on earth look like hate in comparison. And He may ask us to sell everything we own in order to take care of other people.

Now, God may not ask every individual to sell what they own, or to leave their family and move overseas. God has unique plans for each of us. But no matter what God asks of us, we all have to ask ourselves two questions:

Do we honestly believe Jesus is worth losing everything else for?
Do we trust Him enough to obey all of His commands?

Because Christianity isn't a pick and choose ordeal. When you choose to follow Jesus, you're making a commitment to obey all of His commands. Jesus didn't give us options to consider; He gave us commands to obey. Not just the easy ones, not just when you've got the time or when you've got some extra money to put in the offering plate. For example, look at the Great Commission found in Matthew 28. Jesus said, "Go and make disciples..." Not "If you've got some time on the weekends, go...", not "if you feel called, go..." He said simply, "Go."

It'll be hard. Jesus doesn't promise us an easy, comfortable life. He warns us right away (just as he warned those men) that walking with Him will be tough, and maybe even dangerous. That's where the trust comes in. But He also promises to never leave us on our own. As Christians, we're given the Holy Spirit to help us, encourage us, and strengthen us so that we can do what Jesus asks of us.

So if you really want to know God, obey Him. Take Him at His word and remember that no matter how hard it may be to obey Him, He is always willing to help you.

1 John 1:5-6 says "This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did."

Do you honestly believe that Jesus is worth losing everything else for? Do you trust Jesus enough to obey all of His commands?

_________________________________________________________________________________

[Disclaimer: A lot of the ideas expressed, and a few sentences, are taken from the book Radical, written by David Platt. I've talked about his book before and it continues to hit me hard.]

Its amusing to me how God helped me prepare this talk for the kids and then throughout the rest of the week, He kept slamming it back in my face to make me realize that I needed to hear this message probably more than anyone else at camp did. Because my biggest struggle lately is obeying God fully. I've got the easy, routine commands down-- don't say the Lord's name in vain, tithe to church, etc.-- but I seriously struggle obeying Him in his more "radical" commands. And as I prepared to talk at campfire, I realized that the reason I don't obey is because I don't trust Him. Why aren't I willing to give up everything I own, should God ask? Because I don't trust Him to take care of Deric and me in the future. Because money gives me comfort and a feeling of security for the future. Same reasoning behind why I don't give money to take care of the orphans or widows. (A lot of my disobedience has to do with financial matters, interestingly enough.)

Five points to you if you're still reading at this point. I feel like God has been changing my perspective on a lot of things lately and I'll be processing all of it for a while, so I'll warn you now that there will be more ramblings to come. Which is good. Lord, continue to teach me. Keep changing my perspectives so that I can eventually see things the way you do.

(the only picture I took at camp. it was a gloriously unplugged week. took this one early Thursday morning when I went running--yes, I got up early to run! i'm very proud...and surprised.)

Back Home

After 12ish hours on the road, we got home from CIY late Saturday night. We were greeted by a massive tree limb that had fallen maybe a foot from my car (and I literally never park where I'd left my car for the week). The same storms that brought down the tree limb also caught our patio table's umbrella and slammed the table back down, resulting in a big ol' mess of broken glass that actually looks kinda cool. On a more positive note, while we were gone the corn got all tassel-y on top (a very good sign) and I picked a big handful of tomatoes to use in marinara sauce sometime this week. More to come about CIY-- it was intense, powerful and an absolutely fantastic week. When I finish processing everything that happened, I'll be sure to tell you all about it. But for the next few days, Deric and I will be sleeping, doing lots of laundry, and cleaning up the aftermath of those storms. It's good to be home!

I've been up since 5am

Right now:

Sitting on the front bench seat of a rented fifteen passenger van with the window ledge digging into my back, cold AC blowing directly on me from the ceiling vent.

Seeing Savana on the seat next to me, curled up under her rainbow blanket and wearing tie dye. (She likes her bright colors.) Watching three high school boys beat each other up, and cornfields pass by in a blur of green with yellow tips.

Listening to said boys laughing so loud as they make fun of each other's moms and quote 21 Jump Street, their new favorite movie. Taylor Swift sings on the radio, and the boys haven't made any move to change stations; sometimes I catch one of them singing along.

Smelling (this is a pleasant surprise) nothing. The rented van is basically brand new and still has the new-car smell. My guess is a few more hours on the road plus a couple more fast food stops, and that new car smell will be a distant memory.

We're spending this next week in Michigan at CIY, a Christian conference for high schoolers. I'm excited-- CIY is motivating and challenging not only to the students, but also to me. I'm praying we all learn a lot and have a great time with each other. Bonus--we're escaping the extreme heat wave that's wreaking havoc on all the southern states! So I'm also praying that heat wave is long gone by the time we head back to Tennessee. Please, Lord!

The Best Kind of Kickball

Deric has declared "May Madness" for the next few Sunday nights to give the kids a break as they wrap up their school years and study for finals, etc. So tonight and for the remainder of the month we'll be playing games like kiddie pool kickball and enjoying the nice weather before it hits 90 outside. For those of you unfamiliar with kiddie pool kickball, each base is a kiddie pool filled with water. Home base is a slip-n-slide which makes sliding into home much more fun (and much less painful than baseball, I imagine). Everything else is normal kickball, except that you end up soaking wet by the end of the game.

A few of my favorite action shots from tonight:

Picking & Choosing

Deric and I ventured to Atlanta this weekend with three of our middle schoolers to attend CIY Believe, a Christian conference designed specifically with middle schoolers in mind. And it was awesome. The trip was full of all the good things youth group trips should be: inside jokes, loud music in the van, too much fast food, a van that quickly starts to smell like stale fast food, late nights and early mornings, swimming in the hotel pool, middle school boys purposefully trying to skip showers, and of course, getting honest with one another and with God. We did the convention, the World of Coca-Cola, Stone Mountain Park for a laser show, and Passion City Church before heading home on Sunday afternoon.

As for the conference itself, it was an Indiana Jones-esque journey to discover where we got the Bible and how it evolved to the versions we have today. We traveled (via video) from Jerusalem to England and on to the United States, following the journey of the Hebrew scrolls into the English leather-bound Bibles we all have today. It was a perfect topic for middle schoolers who are just starting to explore the Bible independently, and a perfect refresher for a Bible college grad who may or may not have forgotten most of her freshman year Bible courses. I'm not sure what stuck out most to the kids, but I walked away with renewed motivation to really study God's Word and let it change my life...because it can, if I let it. I have to commit my time and study, mull things over, find answers to my questions, and ask God for His help in understanding what He says. And then I have to do what God says to do, which is the hardest part for me. I was baptized when I was twelve--twelve years ago--and I've gone those twelve years just picking and choosing which of Jesus' commands I wanted to follow. Thankfully, my eyes have recently been opened to the realization that picking and choosing doesn't count. Its all or nothing, in or out.

(Wondering what the bottom right picture is? The speaker had the kids write down a verse they could memorize on their food wrappers from lunch and bring it back to the session. An artist took some of the wrappers and made a painting to describe that while its important to feed our bodies, its also important to feed our heart/soul with God's word. Good visual, huh?)

"So because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

Revelation 3:16

Verses like that seem harsh to me. I want to shut my Bible when I read a verse about condemnation, judgment, hell, etc. and turn instead to the Psalms that praise God's mercy, grace, and love. But I've come to grips recently that both sides of God exist, and I should not pretend otherwise. I don't like to think about His judgment, but its there. And while I may not understand just how God works, I have to be okay with that. To me, its that same concept of picking and choosing-- just as I don't get to pick and choose the commands I obey, I don't get to pick and choose the attributes of God I believe in. It can be tough, but its worth it. He is equal parts judgment and grace, wrath and love.

****

(To some of you, this may remind you of a specific book...and yes, I did read Chan's Erasing Hell. And I read Bell's Love Wins before that. If you haven't read them, I urge you to read both. And while you read them, keep your Bible handy. And pray for discernment. Its a tough topic.)

Spring Break

Starting on the first day of spring, Spring Break could not have been better. It was in the 80s and sunny every day, allowing for plenty of time spent in the sun, lots of exercise, and a chance to catch our breath and spend time with people we love.

The highlights:

Sunday// Subway. picnic lunch at our favorite park. read together. two hour nap :)

                        

Tuesday// back to the park with some little friends and their mommas. rode bikes and played in the sand. another picnic lunch.

Wednesday// hiked Abram's Falls in Cade's Cove with kids from church. third picnic lunch of the week. a literally perfect day for a hike: 75, sunny, good breeze to keep the sweat off.

Thursday// rode horses with two girls from church. and of course, saw The Hunger Games. (Spring Break wouldn't have been complete without it.) a 12:30 showing left us recovering all day Friday.

Friday & Saturday// sleep. catching up on household chores and projects.

Monday// (not technically break, but we'll count it.) zoo with good friends. my favorites: the sea otters, elephants, giraffes and red pandas. their favorites: the carousel & running as fast as their tiny legs can carry them from one exhibit to the next.

This week was yet another reminder that God has been so good to us! Days off, spring weather, fun outings with friends...I've got plenty to be grateful for every day!


P.S. Happy birthday to my wonderful dad! I'm always thankful for you and your wisdom, humor, advice, and I-don't-do-anything-on-my-birthday-that-I-don't-wanna-do spirit. Love you!

what 7:00 am at a lock-in looks like

 breakfast of champions. not pictured: boxes upon boxes of cold pizza. at least 20 two-liters, most of them mountain dew. cookie trays. cinnabon. mini donuts.

a Pixar movie to keep the masses calm and quiet so their parents don't want to kill us when they pick up their jittery, caffeinated middle schooler.